The dawn survey dirge

I promised I wouldn't do this again.

I lied.

A particularly dismal dawn survey inspired me (is there such a thing as negative inspiration?) to write a Dawn survey dirge. Can you tell it's almost the end of the survey season and I'm flagging a bit?!

It's to be sung to the tune of 'When a felon's not engaged in his employment' from 'The Pirates of Penzance'. If you're not familiar with it, here's the original - YouTube

When the sun is not engaged in it's employment,
And the caffeine isn’t doing what it ought,
The pre-dawn chilliness, it feels hell-sent,
And you regret the Esso sandwich that you bought.

Our reluctance we with difficulty smother,
When dawn surveying duty’s to be done,
We must drag ourselves from one bed or another,
A bat-worker’s lot’s a really crappy one.

When dawn surveying duty’s to be done, to be done,
A bat-worker’s lot’s a really  crappy one, crappy one.
 
When the trip-hazard is in utter darkness hidden,
And a moth flies in your ear, causing stress,
Whilst mosquitos gnaw upon you most unbidden,
And your sweeties have become a soggy mess.

When your folding camp-chair under you has broken,
And rain-water, it is seeping in your boot,
Whilst your bat detector firmware won’t awaken,
And you fear your head-torch battery’s up the chute.

When dawn surveying duty’s to be done, to be done,
A bat-worker’s lot’s a really  crappy one, crappy one.

When I inflicted 'The bat identification song' upon the world several mischievous people suggested I should post a video of myself singing it, or even perform it at their bat group or a conference. There are several problems with this, chiefly that my singing voice resembles a part-strangled cat having its genitals mangled whilst gargling. But feel free to step in - YouTube, fame and fortune awaits the brave!

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